Notes from G.M.

I only realized last Sunday that my son has indeed grown-up. No matter if I have to shop for a new set of pajamas twice in a matter of 6 months as he was getting taller everyday, I just did not notice it. Even when he picked up Grisham’s A Time to Kill and reads the cover and copyright page with the proper pronunciation and crisp tone, I still did not notice. I was taken aback with pride of course, I thought “Wow! He reads perfectly." Still, I did not acknowledge it to the fact that he has grown up, after all he just turned 6 last August. When you’re a Mom or a Dad, I guess you are in complete denial that your once tiny baby is growing up before your eyes and you just can't process it as fast as it happens. Well that was not until Sunday…

While waiting for Dada in the parking lobby, Sharkboy (SB)and Baby Diva (BD) asked for their new books. A little girl with an angel’s face about my sons’ age suddenly approached our bench and sat beside them. It’s really cool to be a kid, you make and become friends in a heartbeat, and she was getting along well with SB and BD browsing through SB’s dinosaur book. After 10 minutes or so, Angelface gets bored, gets up and walks away, my SB takes notice and gets up from his seat as well and exclaims, “Hey! Do you want me to read to you the names of the dinosaurs?” I could not keep myself from chuckling. SB got a pick-up line and what can I say? T'was good and somewhat geeky but still it was good. He has indeed grown up. Did he get Angelface to go back? That’s another story.

vivi, ama e ridi,

Note from P.Ink

P.Ink is in hibernation. She is buried under a lot of concerns and pressures. She hopes to get out of it as soon as possible. It looks like she's taking her adult role too seriously but she hopes to get back in shape and be P.Ink again (who does more than ponder but also resolves to make time for herself.)

What you don't know about me...

I am anti-social. I cringe at the thought that I would stand in the middle of a big party, sipping wine or fruit cocktail, making small talk, its just not my kind of thing. I rather spend my time in a bookstore browsing or in a corner café reading my favorite book and even my not so favorite book than attend some bash where I am compelled to brush elbows with strangers whom I pretend to remember their first names, though I’m quite sure I’m not alone with this predicament. I would also want to make myself clear that I do not have something against this type of large-scale socialization, my skin is just not made for it. I observed that every time there is a chance for me to hobnob, I experience a skin breakout and no amount of erythromycin could ease it. I realize I’m better stuck with Umberto Eco trying hard to digest his books than be left helpless in the middle of partying people. 

I am a stickler for discipline. I am the one who takes the long route to get to the pedestrian lane where I could safely cross the street (at least that is what I believe.) I can endure long lines in the grocery store and turn into Mrs. Hyde when a loser forces entry in the neatly lined maze of people. Deadlines for me are sacred, I adhere to it and ensure that everybody complies with it. However there is an exception, I bend the rules when it comes to my children to the point of spoiling them. This is surprising as I am inclined to give in easily to their wishes no matter how trivial and yes, sometimes unreasonable. Good thing, my husband who appears sweet and all, turned out to be the disciplinarian.  

I am sort of a “closet-queen” shoe-lover. I may appear like I don’t care about fashion nor don’t have anything to do with it as I can put on anything that comes out of my closet in a morning rush but I cannot do without shoes. I love shoes particularly flat shoes, ankle boots, wedge sandals and kitten heel pumps. I wear one pair then stuff another pair in my bag and keep another pair in my office drawer so I could easily change shoes when my mood changes as well. I wear flats when I am relaxed; heels or boots when I am up for a challenge; and sandals when I feel lazy to dress-up. Honestly, a new pair of shoes can only quell a hard day’s work and brooding frustrations for me. 

 

I love gardening. My father, the original green thumb, might laugh at this one but its true I discovered that I love planting vegetables in the backyard. The weekend we moved in to the Tango House, I planted some vegetables in a patch of soil and found it a stress reliever. This discovery has ignited my interest to pursue a grander planting program that would provide vegetable supply and fruits in the long-term.

I stopped drinking Coke for 3 months already. This is hard for me, I was a caffeine and sugar junkie since aged 7. If some people smoke or drink liquor to pass time, well my only vice is Coke. Then why did I stop? I did it for my health and peace of mind after I realized that I could not write without Coke’s sugar-induced energy boost. Writing is important to me and to associate it with my only vice is not good - it is terrible. As the good old saying goes, when you write make sure it comes from the heart (cheesy but true).

The Chalkboard

Some things scare me…or to put it more accurately…certain things trigger the recall of a scary moment in my life. Just moments ago, I realized that something like a whiteboard could bring out a scary memory I have abandoned deeply in the hidden corners of my mind.

A big flip-type whiteboard was delivered to our office. The deliveryman left in a jiffy leaving it behind without any assembly manual or instruction. To break the icy atmosphere as our office has transformed into Siberian tundra via air-conditioning, I joined some of my officemates assembling it.

For others the whiteboard is nothing but a white board, for me it is analogous to a chalkboard, which resembles the giant cruel chalkboard of my childhood. It happened when I was 4 or 5 years old. Though I grew up in my Grandmother’s house, I also spent some time tottering to my mother’s workplace. It was a usual practice that my mother would bring me to her office but there was one single moment that I will never forget.

I met a little girl, we were of the same age, she was also a kid of one the employees. We decided to play “teacher-teacher” when we took fancy of the big and solid chalkboard in front of the building while our mothers were working inside. First scene, she took the role of the teacher and I took my position sitting in the front stairs as the pupil. Second scene, a strong gust of wind came and all of a sudden the chalkboard toppled over onto the little girl, pinning her down helplessly. Third scene, a large commotion followed, I saw a lot of people coming out of their rooms, they seem to run towards me and I felt I was blamed for getting the girl into that situation, though in reality they were running towards her, to rescue her. I could not remember what happened next though I can still remember that scary feeling, a mixed emotion of anxiety, confusion and pain. I stood there in the middle of ogling and nosy people, overwhelming me with a lot of questions I could not bring myself to answer.

I never saw the little girl again. I could not even remember her name or her face as if she completely disappeared from my sight when the chalkboard fell down on her with my very eyes. Last I heard which was ages ago from my mother, the little girl paid for that incident dearly, she suffered a bone fracture that resulted to a permanent damage. That day though, not only one little girl got herself crushed, there was also the other one, the one who stood in perfect horror.

Silence

Silence...I just love it but it’s not right when you occupy a space in the blogosphere and suddenly you become inconspicuously quiet. December for me was the busiest month both for the work and home department. I am very guilty of becoming an organized pack rat to the point of drying up my creativity well. Maybe unconsciously, this was an expression of my craving for order in our disgruntled and chaotic environment. I have been too preoccupied with listing, packing, filing, buying, wrapping, segregating, discarding, etc. I even forgot to put down my thoughts into this blog.

I spent the entire month of December packing and unpacking – Christmas decors, luggage for 2 adults and 2 children with special requirements (e.g. baby formula, anti-allergy meds, favourite toys, nebulizer, stroller, etc.) that got me carried away when I struggled between taking or not taking our reliable electric sterilizer as well; listing and delisting (stocks?! how I wish) my TTDs (things to do) and TTBs (things to bring/buy) including a wardrobe schedule per family member to reduce the number of clothes packed as well as number of travel bags; wrapping and unwrapping presents to & from family, friends and foe (not literally though); performing 5S in my office area and in the house; and last but not the least, enjoying my OC streak as if it was the finest idea and noblest thing to do on earth during those moment of fervent possession.

Through it all, I would like to thank my family and friends who stood by me and even tolerated my version of leisure. And what’s more to love with December were the gift-hunting, food trips, vacations and travels that strengthen the bonds of family and friendship.

To Hubby’s family and mine, thank you very much for the wonderful vacations in HK and Isabela. Christmas and New Year celebrations were made meaningful because we were all completely together. We made it with young children in tow, heavy luggage, jam-packed subways, biting cold, overheating Charlie Brown (family van) and all.

To my friends for sharing a new-found addiction such as new book page-sniffing; my fellow pen-eraser-notebook collectors intending to apply as transient residents of Fully Booked in G5, thanks for the amazing company, heart-warming exchanges on parenthood and family life and encouraging words. Year 2009 was indeed a rollercoaster ride for us but we’re still here. Isn’t it that life becomes sweeter when Fully Booked is just around the corner?

And now, after having the best vacation in years, I welcome 2010 with a strong heart. There is no space for mediocrity.

Condemn Maguindanao Massacre

Sadly, I live in this country...

…. where women, human rights lawyers and journalists are killed like criminals - (this is an understatement)

…. where women, accompanied by lawyers and journalists, on their way to Shariff Aguak to file the certificate of candidacy of Buluan Vice Mayor Esmael Mangudadatu for governor of Maguindanao, were slaughtered like animals by cold-blooded killers in broad daylight.

Like most of you out there, I am terribly shaken to the core. These women, lawyers and journalists were all there as believers of our democratic process and why such high price to pay for doing so?! I pray for the victims and their families. I pray for this country. I pray for justice to be served.

“We seek justice for the victims, we seek justice for our rights to freedom.”

Belisa learns...

You can never tell who will be there for you, in times of need or during occasional lows in your life. The friends you expect to be there for some reason may also be as lost as you are while someone you thought indifferent, unexpectedly appears with a ready hand and a listening ear. When the people you used to have a good time with either at work and after work are all gone, you just have to make some difficult decisions and live by it. You either continue working or continue being sour, hence, it is a matter of choice. Most importantly, you can only rely on yourself and your ability to look at the picture differently from the way bitten people have marred it.

And so I say, gone is Belisa the hermit, she needs to reconnect with other humans, she can’t live in a cave. Like all of them, she needs to move on too, afterall, it was she who was given the most daunting role, to stay and survive a bleak situation or was it really even bleak?
When written in Chinese, the word "crisis" is composed of two characters. One represents danger and the other represents opportunity. - John F. Kennedy

Photo: www.dreamtime.com

Things I learned from Ondoy

1. Complacency is bane during moments of disaster

It came as a surprise, one minute my family was sitting around the dining table having pleasant lunch, the next minute I was moving around like Dash rummaging on whatever I could get my hands on like the bottle box and milk can of my children, canned goods, medicines etc. My husband hurriedly carried my kids to the 2nd floor as they began shouting, “Mommy, look the water is getting inside the house!” Luckily I have a quick helper who snatched all the other valuable items away from the brown water gushing inside our house and positioned our things on top of every elevated structure available (dining table, countertop, etc.) We never anticipated the flood to reach our house since it is elevated 4 feet from the ground/garage. Our area never got flooded even when most of Metro Manila is flooded during incidents of heavy typhoons. Our neighbors thought the same since most of them overslept on a Saturday morning, unmindful of the continuous downpour that started on Friday evening, we were all confident that we were safe from the flood. Next thing we knew, our cars were submerged in deep brownish water. Too late, the water may have gone through the circuits as one car started off its alarm when the flood rose rapidly seeping in each and every crevice, the sounding off was like a call for help while we all watch helpless as the brown water monster swallowed them all.

2. Our government could not afford rubber boats but could afford fine-dining at luxurious restaurants abroad

All of us have been witness to the amount of help the Ondoy victims got from the private sector. Once again, our government showed its helplessness amidst major calamities such as this one and on how it cannot be dependent upon by its needy citizens. There were not enough rubber boats to rescue those who were trapped on their rooftops particularly residents of Provident Village in Marikina, subdivisions along Imelda Avenue in Cainta and other areas in Pasig. I get a headache every time I recall that Pres. Arroyo and her cohorts dined at Le Cirque in NY for $20,000 and at Van’s Steakhouse in Washington for $15,000, wow that’s a whopping $35,000, if you take out your calculator and convert $35,000 to P46/$1, you get P 1.6 million (P1,610,000). That for me is big money to buy 35 to 50 additional rubber boats that cost around P32,000 to P45,000 per unit. To top it all, the government announced that their contingency fund is running low, the reason again is, it has been authorized for used in the previous foreign travels of Pres. Arroyo.

3. Material things are well just material

We have a friend who lives in Vista Verde, one of the badly flooded subdivisions in Cainta, realizing that the flood was rising fast, she and her family left their house and drove their new SUV to a neighboring elevated village. She and her husband thought that they could do nothing more to rescue the contents of their house since they live in a bungalow. They had their essentials with them, she reasoned, they have their kids strapped at the back-seat and they drove as fast as the rising waters would permit them during the height of typhoon Ondoy.

4. Bayanihan is well and alive

If there is one great thing brought about by this massive flooding, I need not say more, the amount of support from every Filipino inside and outside of the country is overwhelming. The donations and the volunteers are outpouring like Ondoy’s outpouring rain, our efforts to ease the pain and suffering of our countrymen is ever present and alive. We all should learn from rival networks like ABS-CBN and GMA 7 whose race to become the best network in the land in terms of raising funds/donations through Sagip Kapamilya and Kapuso Foundation is working well towards benefitting thousands of lives. We are also grateful to the aid extended to us by foreign governments and international organizations. Much of this assistance has gone a long way to help those who have lost their homes and lives and basic right to live a normal life especially the children. I hope and pray that long-term solutions for those displaced from their homes be made possible. Maybe a village donation would be a good start for the communities tossed in evacuations centers, a village with reasonable location wherein displaced families could still have access to their source of income. Another concern would be to beef up funds and info-campaign, re-organized and strengthen the disaster management system and program of the government including the private sector. It is time that we all take disaster preparedness and management seriously, ours is a disaster-prone country, aside from lying in the circum-Pacific seismic belt, we received about an average of 19 cyclones per year.

5. Be prepared like a boy scout and a girl scout

Ondoy the big floodmaker shook the core in each of us. I chat with my friends and officemates about it and evidently most of us have taken the issue of disaster preparedness more seriously than before. Someone even mentioned that he’s going to purchase a rubber boat, lifesavers and lifejackets for the family and renovate the 2nd floor of the house for an emergency exit door and evacuation area in case of another massive flooding. I on the other hand became more conscious on the contents of my kitchen cupboard. I make sure that we have adequate stock of canned goods and first aid medicines. The picture of harried masses lining up in the grocery on a Sunday after the big flood receded in our place stuck with me. For the first time I did my grocery at Puregold Shaw, I found its shelves almost empty of sardines, corn beef, canned tuna and meatloaf. People around me, like me, were all pouring canned foods into our carts our hands and arms could amass.

6. What is Climate Change?

One needs not be an environmentalist to understand the global impact of Climate Change. Environment experts warned that cyclone Ketsana (Ondoy) is just a taste of what it is to come in the future. According to the 4th Assessment Report of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPPC), human activities have contributed to climate change; activities that led to the increase of the 4 principal greenhouse gases like as carbon dioxide, methane, nitrous oxide and halocarbons. The release of carbon dioxide emissions have greatly contributed to global warming which is a significant factor in the increase in intensity as well as frequency of typhoons. For a friendly detailed discussion on Climate Change and Global Warming, you may visit IPPC and Noble Peace Price environment activist Al Gore.

Photos: Globalnational.com, Travelpod.com

Impt!

How can you help? Please reblog to spread the word. Thank you.











My source: Ondoy Tumblr

Strong Shoes (part 2)

Broken Shoes



Don't look at your broken shoes,

Just sit in a corner,

And enjoy Traviatta,

So that Verdi would know

That you love Opera music,

As much as I do.

Verdi wouldn't look at your shoes,

He would just ignore

All the snobs in the rooms.


The poem above is authored by Ms. Cristina Toropu which I found serendipitously in Agonia.Net, an international convergence of literature lovers and critics in the web. Ms. Toropu is born in Romania and is currently a math PhD student in the US.


You can lend a guess on why I am posting her poem “Broken Shoes” :

a. I am a snob to snotty people referred in the poem;

b. Cristina and I both like opera music (though I prefer Puccini

over Verdi);

c. My favorite and comfortable shoes, a pair of gray Crocs, has been subject to much glowering by fashion conscious snobs, my only consolation is that at least I have happy feet while they may be suffering from plantar fasciitis resulting to their dour attitude;

d. All of the above.





Answer: D

Welcome to the Tango House

In my quest to further the breadth of my writing, I am getting my hands on new material which I believe would be engaging but not to the point of becoming syrupy in contrast to the sober pinch of Purple Scribbling. I have started my another dot in the blogosphere "Tales from the Tango House" which aims to capture the happy, exciting, challenging, intriguing and occasional drama of family life, motherhood and everything in between.

Tango House chronicles the lives of DB, GM, Sharkboy and Baby Diva, pay them a visit here!

Active dot in the blogosphere

Okay I’ve moved on. I’m done grieving for Pres. Cory’s passing from this world but of course the inspiration she has stirred among us lingers. Her death affected multitudes and I’ve never felt my Pinoy blood flood my consciousness as vigorous as the way it did while witnessing the outpouring of love and respect for an icon of democracy. I hope these emotions would be translated into concrete manifestations of our love for our country’s gift of democracy. I hope that we would all take the responsibility of keeping it unscathed and protected.

Long live Pres. Cory!

Source: Definitely Filipino

Thank you Tita Cory

My father bought a copy of this magazine when I was in grade 4 and this is how I got to know more about Mrs. Corazon C. Aquino aside from the media feed at home while witnessing the 1986 EDSA Revolution. I am very sure and a lot of people will agree that “Tita Cory” will always be an icon of democracy not only to Filipinos but the whole world as well. She was our instrument of faith that finally ended the dark days of the Marcos dictatorship. Our bloodless revolution in 1986 has put our country back in the world map of consciousness and has inspired various democratic movements worldwide. Imagine guns vs. flowers… people vs. tanks… deception vs. prayers… and finally an unassuming widow dressed in yellow vs. a strongman from the north, that for me is FAITH.

Image: Time.com

More on Pres. Aquino

The Old House (s4. Scar Story)

It disappoints me to the point of irritation that some people just don’t get it.

When confronted with a major decision, I’ve always relied on myself first. I believe that you must at least attempt to carry your own load before you could actually seek someone’s help. It’s essential to test the waters for us to answer the basic question – “Will I sink or swim? Ok, I’ll go figure". While others see you as (too) proud, I call it self-reliance.

I remember when I was little my grandmother won’t let me play with her newly refurbished vanity table. Since we were roommates then, I couldn’t resist touching this piece of furniture, it looked so shiny and new, quite appealing even to a child who knows nothing about vanity. I had a strong impulse to touch it that I even imagined the vanity table summoning me to do so.

Being a true-blue inquisitive vagabond in my grandmother’s old house, I finally found time to go beyond looking one afternoon. I run my fingers on its big round mirror and newly varnished smooth wooden surface, opened and closed its drawers and touched its glass top. I again run my fingers on the glass top including its edge, and started gliding my hand on it like the way you smoothen a wrinkled cloth, feeling the cold surface until I accidentally cut the back of my hand which jolted me back to reality.

I found the wound in my left hand bleeding, the gushing scarlet liquid scared me a bit and I rushed for the bathroom. I even rolled the front of my shirt on top of my bloody hand to conceal it from the adults in the kitchen as I passed them by. I made a number of back and forth trips to the bathroom as the bleeding did not stop. I found solution when I took some cotton from my Tita China’s room and pressed it against the cut.

I stayed in the garden swing all afternoon to keep my wound a secret from Nanay and all the other adults in the house. The expected amount of scolding as well as the fussing on me was not something I enjoyed. Days after, the wound dried up and became a scar and still nobody noticed it. A month passed and the scar never lightened even up to this day because it was not just any scar but a keloid half the size of a 5 centavo coin. It became my permanent mark, a symbol of my stubborn streak, but at least I handled it myself.

Image: FlashGlitters

Farewell MJ

Farewell MJ!

You will always be the King of Pop.

No one will ever come close to your musical genius.

Thank you for giving the world your masterpieces.

You will be remembered forever.

Photo: www.fanpix.net

Not Funny

• It's not funny when you discover by accident that someone you hold dear has practically lifted 3 paragraphs of your old blog post without your knowledge and consent. Imagine a piece of your thought copied verbatim, then spruced up by an additional closing paragraph for a cheeky ending statement. I could not believe it myself when I first read it. I don’t know how to feel, I guess the right word here is dumbfounded. Someone has plagiarized my writing. I was thinking that maybe it was done unwittingly but any form of plagiarism is a deliberate act and the additional insult comes from knowing the person who has copied your idea. The "Copier" took it without considering that a writer can only call it her own unless she blows life into it. Rubbing more salt to the wound, she filed the lifted section using the same title I did 3 years ago.

• It’s not funny when someone you know, not really a friend just someone you work with makes fun out of something you feel the opposite. Example when you got a sick child and someone who thinks she’s smart makes a joke out of it. Well the person committing such a despicable act is not only sick and cruel, she is one rotten soul. I say what I want to say, this is my blog!

• It’s not funny when you want to break away from the grinder machine but you can’t. On 2nd thought - I can! I must stop complacency from consuming my zeal and start taking charge of what’s going on with this department in my life right now. It not too late for a carpe diem!

Image: Angry Buttercup from Cartoon Channel

Mermaids

I support my children’s interest and fascination with sea creatures. They visited the MOP twice last year and it influenced them positively on how they look at the ocean and its wonderful marine life. When they learned about the Mermaid Show at the MOP through a front page photo in the Inquirer, they would not stop asking me to bring them again in the oceanarium.








When their Grandpa R paid us a visit last holiday (Independence Day), he was apparently charmed by my little cherubs and brought them to the MOP one morning. The Mermaid Show was only scheduled in the afternoon until the evening and my children felt disappointed. I promised to bring them back on a Wednesday afternoon before the 7-day expiration of our entrance tickets. So it was done on a Wednesday, I got off early from the office to beat the traffic, my brother was kind enough to pick me up and my kids with their nannies since Braveheart was on a client call. Was it worth all the trouble for a 15 minute show? Yes of course, I could not buy my children’s smiles and squeals of delight, including their Yayas’ as they watch in awe the beautiful and graceful mermaids of MOP.

MOP Mermaid Show runs from June 5 to July 15, 2009. Regular schedule: Tuesdays to Sundays; starting 4 pm onwards. For more details please visit the MOP website.

Photos: MOP, Reuters

What does it mean to be Filipino?

I came across this question while visiting Inquirer.net and got pique as usual. Now I can’t resist to giving my answer though Gigo Alampay encourages its readers to analyze more the above question rather than provide a response to it.

Being Filipino is relative to each person, we are all entitled to our own definition based on unique circumstance, orientation and upbringing but one thing stands similar for all of us, we give premium to values that relate to family and hardwork.

I define being Filipino as a way of life, a daily conscious decision each one of us makes. I see it as more than a mindset and a culture, as well as the feelings of pride we derive from it. It is the everyday struggle we put up to keep our spirit and integrity as a Filipino in this global community.

So what sets us apart from the others, it’s our simple attribute which is our "love of family". Our family orientation goes beyond kin and friends, it may even extend to complete strangers. I observed in everyday hubbub, we still take time to pause and look for ways to help other people.

I remember an incident in SM Makati’s foodcourt when a group of old ladies occupied a table nearby our table during lunch. As the women were busy taking their places, one of them carrying a tray of beverages accidentally spilled all of it on their table. They were unsettled and embarrassed of such clumsiness that resulted to a dining disaster but the crowd around them reacted differently. My friends and I gave them our tissue papers to wipe off the dripping mess while people in the other table called for the roving utility to clean it up. A nearby customer even took the extra mile to request a replacement of the spilled drinks. This is what I love about being Pinoy, we love to dip our fingers on other people’s problems. I mean I’m saying this in a good light, the presence of interest is a lot better than indifference in this case. Further, I would like to answer the question, “Why did we help them?” Well most of us (me and friends) remarked that these women reminded us of our beloved “lolas” (grannies).

We Filipinos are known to be self-giving. We believe in hard toil and its rewards. We work in foreign shores to give our families financial security. We take care of our aging parents and grandparents. We look after our siblings. We treat our friends like family. We approach other people in a more personal way. We are into each other’s dealings. Who doesn’t have an officemate who inquires about how your kids are doing and discusses “have you got a replacement to your delinquent yaya” topic? We ask personal questions that foreigners often find intrusive though the intention was to get to know them more. We build rapport through knowing one’s family. In our village, isn’t it that we will always be the daughter or son of their “kumpare” or “kumare”. So how about you, what makes you Filipino?

“Hoy Pinoy ako, Buo aking loob
May agimat ang dugo ko!” -Bamboo