Indicators - Part 2

This is a continuation of Indicators which I have posted last July 2008 in the hope that these practical hints on parenting will be put into good use and further improvement.

4. Take every opportunity for bonding and exploration

I’m lucky to have a hubby who exactly thinks like I do when it comes to parenting. We both believe that every moment with your child, no matter if you’re home with them or outside its confines; the possibilities for bonding and learning will always be available.

I refer to one stormy morning, when power lines were off and as usual, Manila perennially flooded, hubby and I were lazing around the house with the children after breakfast. Speed Racer (S Racer) and little Ysa Banana (YB), bored with their toys and baby trinkets respectively, begged to play outside in the garage area with their Dad. For amusement purposes, hubby asked me to make paper boats for the children. Under a big umbrella, my 2 boys, one a child at heart and the other truly a child, sent off their paper boats in a flowing puddle adjacent to the front gate while little YB and I cheered our hearts out.

Another favorite game of hubby with the kids is “connect my story”, an alternative to my traditional read a bedtime story. The game begins with Daddy, who introduces the basic elements of the story: setting; characters and plot. My little son is the eager one who provides a twist to the evolving plot with an additional character or by extremely varying the mood from happy to gloomy to scary and back. Often, the protagonist of these exchanges between Dad and S Racer feature Dory, Nemo, Bruce, Mr. Ray and an unnamed fisherman.

5. Believing in your child’s choices

As a parent, our child’s wellbeing is our primary interest. Both my children are still in the formative years and hubby and I are trying to be the best responsible adults in their eyes. Having impressed on our kids that not everything they want are obtainable, we encouraged them to make choices, starting with simple matters that affect them; i.e. choice of food; flavor of ice cream; piece of toy to play with or book to read; including their Halloween costume. This is not to spoil them but to teach them the power of choice. This practice, simple as it seem, is a good way for them to build their confidence as they are encouraged to express their preferences and see that adults respect it.

For Speed Racer’s b-day, we gave him two options on how to celebrate it: 1) have a school party or 2) have a birthday trip. He chose the latter and had a great time. Ever since we took S Racer and little YB to Manila Ocean Park (MOP), my children became fond of the creatures of the deep. Finding Nemo has been recovered from the shelves and once again highly patronized while Discovery Channel and Animal Planet gained 2 more avid viewers for its documentaries on the colorful marine life.

It was also reported by S Racer’s Teacher A that my son has become a walking endorser of the MOP as he often mentions in his nursery 1 class the fishes, corals and sharks at the MOP. Currently S Racer and little YB are sleeping with us on the same bed, along with their 3 fishes named (angelfish) Dory, (clownfish) Nemo and a blue dolphin named Kit which S Racer bought from a recent trip with his GrandMa at Subic’s Ocean Adventure.

6. Relax a bit as a parent

Little YB, though only 1 and a half year old, has two favorite words: “ayaw” and “again”. My little girl uses the word “ayaw’, with the proper firmness in her voice, every time she feels she is forced into something she is not comfortable with. The work “again” is often heard when she is amused with a song or an antic to make her laugh or a second helping of her favorite food or a re-reading of a section/page of her favorite story book. Aside from being outspoken, little YB is a daring child. I observed this the first time she dipped her hand in the containment to touch a spiky starfish. Obviously, she is not revolted with the features of this sea creature. I also sense her independence and creativity as she improvises toys out of used carton boxes that she rides on and takes the canned goods out of the kitchen cabinet one by one patiently to her play area, and once a heavy luncheon meat can fell on her toes and hurt her. Though this incident caused her tears and her Nanny to panic, I did not prevent her from pursuing her toy improvisation with the canned goods.

I realized that little YB and S. Racer are just having a ball as children. They tear papers, sometimes even pages of my favorite magazines, they stain their shirts with watercolors, they scribble their colored pens and crayons on the walls; they hide toys under the pillows and under the sheets and even inside the underwear drawer; they play with old carton boxes and canned goods and whatever object that caught their fancy; they dip their hands on your drinking water; they drink your soda or juice; they mess up their new shirts; and they rescue a dirty but favorite toy under a dusty cabinet. They have a robust imagination and a yearning to explore and learn and have fun. My role is also to be flexible; I am Mommie for a minute and a playmate in the next. Let’s allow our kids to get dirty and let’s not forget to play with them and be kids again.