A message for Princess Peach

My little sweet daughter, hope you won’t grow so fast though I secretly wish sometimes you were the age when I can …

Bring you to a beauty salon with me where we can both pass time in idle chat while getting our toenails painted in bright purple though I’m quite sure you’ll prefer yours in green. I will always remember when I first brought you to such fancy place for your first haircut, I found you too cute for the haircutting chair. Sitting side by site together, you were too scared to let go of my hand while the hairdresser cut your hair short like mine. I just felt so content holding your hand that I froze that picture in my mind and wish again for you not to grow up fast.

Tag you in the mall and shop till we both drop from exhaustion literally. I admit that shopping for clothes is a waterloo (though I can score at shoe-shopping) and I’d love someone who would give sensible fashion advice. I wish you’d forgive your Mom for lacking these skills as I grew up with brothers in a mostly boys populated neighborhood. I did not get the chance to play dress-up nor had the privilege of a fashion magazine subscription. Just like the boys, I rode and fell from biking races under the 2 o'clock summer sun which makes me wonder why I tend to be upset when I come home from work and see your knee or leg get scraped a bit. I would even reprimand your Yaya for not being able to prevent it and be adamant about you wearing pjs in the afternoon to prevent insect bites and scratches from rough play.

Spend plenty of time with you in one of my favorite places in the country--- where else but Fully Booked -- we could let hours go by while browsing and having a hard time choosing, prioritizing which books to buy, authors to love, like, drop and love again. I hope you’d share my love for Gibran’s prose, Allende’s magic realism and Grisham’s legal thrillers while I look forward to hear about your favorites and choices. And also share my liking for paperproducts, those dainty notebooks and journals and bother to care for things like “Does its pages have the right level of smoothness to give the proper gliding effect when you write?” See your Mom is just as quirky as you are when I observed that you preferred writing using my colored gel pens over you jumbo pencil, no matter if it requires your tiny hand double effort to steady your grip.

Dear baby daughter though I wish for these things, my prayer remains the same that you won't grow too fast. Please let me enjoy it a little bit more.

Photo source: Nitendo

Silence

Silence...I just love it but it’s not right when you occupy a space in the blogosphere and suddenly you become inconspicuously quiet. December for me was the busiest month both for the work and home department. I am very guilty of becoming an organized pack rat to the point of drying up my creativity well. Maybe unconsciously, this was an expression of my craving for order in our disgruntled and chaotic environment. I have been too preoccupied with listing, packing, filing, buying, wrapping, segregating, discarding, etc. I even forgot to put down my thoughts into this blog.

I spent the entire month of December packing and unpacking – Christmas decors, luggage for 2 adults and 2 children with special requirements (e.g. baby formula, anti-allergy meds, favourite toys, nebulizer, stroller, etc.) that got me carried away when I struggled between taking or not taking our reliable electric sterilizer as well; listing and delisting (stocks?! how I wish) my TTDs (things to do) and TTBs (things to bring/buy) including a wardrobe schedule per family member to reduce the number of clothes packed as well as number of travel bags; wrapping and unwrapping presents to & from family, friends and foe (not literally though); performing 5S in my office area and in the house; and last but not the least, enjoying my OC streak as if it was the finest idea and noblest thing to do on earth during those moment of fervent possession.

Through it all, I would like to thank my family and friends who stood by me and even tolerated my version of leisure. And what’s more to love with December were the gift-hunting, food trips, vacations and travels that strengthen the bonds of family and friendship.

To Hubby’s family and mine, thank you very much for the wonderful vacations in HK and Isabela. Christmas and New Year celebrations were made meaningful because we were all completely together. We made it with young children in tow, heavy luggage, jam-packed subways, biting cold, overheating Charlie Brown (family van) and all.

To my friends for sharing a new-found addiction such as new book page-sniffing; my fellow pen-eraser-notebook collectors intending to apply as transient residents of Fully Booked in G5, thanks for the amazing company, heart-warming exchanges on parenthood and family life and encouraging words. Year 2009 was indeed a rollercoaster ride for us but we’re still here. Isn’t it that life becomes sweeter when Fully Booked is just around the corner?

And now, after having the best vacation in years, I welcome 2010 with a strong heart. There is no space for mediocrity.

Welcome to the Tango House

In my quest to further the breadth of my writing, I am getting my hands on new material which I believe would be engaging but not to the point of becoming syrupy in contrast to the sober pinch of Purple Scribbling. I have started my another dot in the blogosphere "Tales from the Tango House" which aims to capture the happy, exciting, challenging, intriguing and occasional drama of family life, motherhood and everything in between.

Tango House chronicles the lives of DB, GM, Sharkboy and Baby Diva, pay them a visit here!

Maternal Pride

I got 2 wonderful children and I am very proud of them. They are the sunshine of my life to put it succinctly.

One child is a painter who loves to tinker with crayons and watercolors since he was 2 years old. His earliest work included the walls of our bedroom where he used a mixed medium of crayola and a green stabilo. My little artist is now 4 years old and apparently influenced by the art on-line of Playhouse Disney requested me to buy him a painting set which I did this weekend. It was perfect timing my brothers D and FA paid us a visit on Sunday. FA is the one endowed with aesthetic sense and talent. He gave Speed Racer a blast with their instant painting lessons. My son’s masterpiece is now posted in my brother’s blog “Arnoland” and it really made my day.

One child is a lover of words. I am thinking and praying that she grows up embracing the gift of gab. The first thing I observed about my little girl is her preference for books over toys. She owns a considerable number of new and old books, some inherited from her brother, some sent by our Tita Mari, and mostly we bought for her during our visit to the mall. Her books occupy a good portion of space in the 3rd level of my bookshelf for her easy access and storage. She initiates our reading time before we go to bed as she pulls 2 to 3 storybooks from the bookshelf and requests me to read to her. She listens intently at every word I utter. She also knows when I skip a word or re-word a phrase for she insists that I read that same phrase again. I observed that this practice is doing her well for she did not only talk early, just last night while playing with Speed Racer, she said, “Kuya please turn off the lights.” Hubby and I exchanged looks and we started laughing, YB’s voice might be tiny but she expressed her thought in a sentence. Moreover, she’s only 2 and yet she knows how to get her kuya to follow her.


*Image by Little Ms. Nana

A Simple Lesson

I was moved by Pulitzer Prize winner Doris Kearns Goodwin, acclaimed presidential historian, winning writer, political analyst, Harvard professor and most of all, Mom to 3 sons. A bit of her 1998 commencement address at the Dartmouth College was featured by Queena Lee-Chua along with the memorable speeches of Kofi Annan and Nobel-prize-winning physicist Richard Feynman in her column Eureka. I love Kofi (who doesn't?) but right now I wish to know more about Goodwin, an extraordinary woman and her choice.

Upon withnessing the mighty life of success of Pres. Lyndon Johnson, Goodwin said: "On the surface, he should have everything....and yet the man I saw in his retirement has spend many years in pursuit of work, power and individual success that he had absolutely no psychic or emotional resources left to commit himself to anything once the presidency was gone."

She also noted in her speech a sad conversation she had with Pres. Johnson before he died when he said that he was watching the American people forget him as they were absorbed with the new president...forgetting even the great civil laws he passed. He began to think that his quest for immortality had been in vain, that perhaps he would have been better off focusing his time and attention on his wife and children. Goodwin continued in her speech that, "Despite all the money and power he was alone when he died, his ultimate terror realized."

Having witnessed Pres. Johnson's late realization in life, Goodwin gave up her teaching career in Harvard and pursued motherhood fulltime. She reoreinted her life, weighing less on work and ambition but more on raising a family. Moreover, it took her 10 years to come up with her 2nd book and this is what she got to say: I'd like to think it made no difference to the world how long it took, but it mattered to my kids when they are young. It all goes so quickly....But the point is, even if some opportunities were lost by the choices made when the children were little, there's plenty of time now to move in new directions. It was just a matter of trusting in the choices that were made."

I found Goodwin's words enlightening and her life a living example of her wisdom and the things she believes in, it seem to shed light to a "situation" that I have been contemplating for a long time already. I have always known the answers to my questions but I simply lack the courage to take the reins and move towards the direction of my liberation, from a life of mediocrity and a life filled with giving in to the expectations of others. I feel blessed for there is still time to live my life the way I see fit living it.

Want to learn more about Doris Kearns Goodwin?

Hello Ms. Grumpy!

I am angry, very angry. This emotion which I have successfully kept under control for the last 3 months has finally caught up with me, bursting at the seams, ignoring pleas to calm down by my reasonable conscience. It was triggered this morning when SRacer’s yaya neglected a regular duty which I have firmly reprimanded her for more than 10 times already. My anger exploded into tremendous proportions that after a slew of words between gritted teeth, my temper was still running high, I could feel my blood curl with the amount of chemical imbalance taking toll inside my body.

My fury even translated into crashing open our garage gate that irked Hubby, this gave me the sign to stop for I’m up to no good. As I plop down in the front seat beside him, I sighed deeply, trying hard to ease down my volatile temper into normal levels. I know this is not healthy, I read somewhere that when you’re terribly angry, your body reacts to the sudden surge of emotions and produces toxins which is flushed into the bloodstream affecting the whole bodily functions. This awareness did not even stop me from becoming upset again.

I have always been an angry person, I get easily irritated and patience has never been my strength. However after an hour of reflection, I took this weakness to heart and look for ways on how to deal with it squarely. More than the Yaya issue, I have a lot of dealings with in my surroundings – workplace, household, family,and friends’arena. I recognize that the more I try to control the variables of my primary and secondary circle, the more I cultivate grounds for frustration. I can only do much but I do not have the power to control anything that is fixed nor given (e.g. other’s attitudes, beliefs, etc). I resolve to be good to myself and not to punish myself with the shortcomings and inefficiency of others.

Like them, I am also a work in progress. I pray to the Lord for serenity, courage and wisdom. And yes for more courage to douse the raging bull that I am.

Photo: Angry Little Asian Girl by Lela Lee

The Gift

She’s a beauty. I’m referring to my brand new NEO notebook, a Christmas present from hubby who knows exactly the most practical gift I’ve secretly fancied. When he called Friday afternoon, the boom in his voice was a give-away like Eureka, I found it! Having been led on to this surprise, I could barely wait to see him in the evening and when I prodded further, he simply said, something for your writing gig.”

The moment I opened the box and freed the item of its strapping, I knew that this is going to be with me for a long time like the first Olympia typewriter I got from my father a long time ago in 5th grade. I could only utter: OMG! I felt like a kid who got her favorite toy from Santa as I held the Neo with a confident grip that seem like instinct, imprinting my jovial spirit into this tiny machine. Braveheart was smiling too, pleased with my reaction, which I guess he has predicted accurately. At least now when the moment strikes me…I can pound the keys with style Haha!

I listed mentally the number of ideas that needs body and a shot at posting. There are lots of things swirling inside my head; I have no more excuse but to put them all into writing through this little gray notebook. For now, let me savor this moment with my portable writing companion whom shall be named Neo Gray.

Wishful Thinking

So I am 10 minutes in the waiting - my eyes begun to wander away from the distance where I suppose the object of my waiting would appear. With much conscious effort, I surveyed my surroundings upon discarding my indifferent self, I felt a sense of connection with the people passing by in that street corner in Sta Ana where I planted myself like a shrub.

The sunglasses came in handy, they gave me free room and ample angle to discreetly observe people, take note, not ogle them. I see an old man carrying 3 bags of clothing (I assume) while holding a brown paper envelop which from the way he held it must have taken great effort from his gnarled hands not to have it creased. Meanwhile a woman, who just stood nearby huffed and puffed her cigar like there was no tomorrow, she must have a pair of mighty and happy lungs.

Still the happiest sight of the moment goes to a number of Mommy-baby pairs who come passing by. I counted several pairs of them: taking a stroll, stopping at the fruit cart, crossing the street and emerging from the Jollibee store with a Kiddie meal take out. One common denominator was the cheery aura, as if both were caught in their own little bubble and the rest of the world do not exist. I felt envious.

I wish I have the same privilege of staying home with my kids. I could just do blogging for a living like Anton of AOP and I would be available to my kids anytime. I would fix my schedule around them so I could be the one preparing their breakfast, giving baths as often as they want in a day, driving them to school and putting them to sleep in the afternoon. We could watch their favorite movies a hundred times over and eat their favorite cookies and chocolates until our tummies ache and read and re-read their favorite stories and talk and talk without the worry that it’s past their bedtime because you can do it during the day. Sounds perfectly simple, but it is not simple.

How I wish it would be easy for me to shift into the low gear. I remembered seeking Hubby’s opinion on home-schooling our kids; he said he’ll give it a careful thought. But then again, am I prepared to once again fold the career plan and store it behind the kitchen counter until both my children are independent enough to go to school?

I am also thinking it over.

Acknowledgements to the following image sources:

www.site.blissliving.com

www.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/4991399

Life like a Glass House

This is my birthday entry , I am turning 32 this Sept. I don’t know what to label this post though it sort of resembles an assessment report. Whatever it’s worth…I exercise the liberty of posting it. Cheers!

I am a Freethinker who works in a glass office, in one of the most surprising nook and well kept secrets of Makati. Our building though not a skyscraper, is one with sophistication and artistic innovation that friends and visitors used to comment, “Hey your office looks like an Art Museum”. I don’t mind since I love it the way it is. More than just an office, this edifice quite reminds me a lot about life.

I consider my circumstances growing up in the province, was quite a sheltered existence. Thanks to father’s random lectures, despite my cloister, it has been impressed in my mind that there is a big world outside my home and my school. The realities of life, both beauty and harshness, I further gleaned through the pages of the books and magazines I’ve read.

I have been educated through the public school system from grade school to college, except for a brief stint in Chinese kinder school and a private school in the 4th grade. When I turned 10, I’ve given up the outdoor play since there were only 2 girls in the neighborhood where I grew up; Heart, who is busy with her stamp collection and shitsu puppies, and me, who found seclusion a wonderful place, I did have a stamp collection too though not as extensive as Heart’s.

I breeze through high school while undergoing the perfect summation of identity crisis. Like any other teen, I wanted to fit in. I’ve tried taking school seriously which turned out to my advantage. I got excellent grades and great friends, all went well until I succumbed to a nerve disease that almost claimed my life in the summer before junior year. I became a vegetable at the mercy of my neurologist which gave my parents the ultimate fright of their lives. I called this episode in my life – the falling into the dark pit- until I found brilliance and comfort in W.E. Henley’s ”Invictus.”

The recovery period from such a nearly-fatal blow was an arduous process. Not only did I sought refuge in my seclusion castle, which is like a glass house where the only thing that protects it from intrusion is a deadbolt, I also buried myself into reading until further solace came in the form of writing. Once again I retrieved my pen and restarted a journal. Writing is therapeutic. It paved the way for me to find the missing portion of myself after the ordeal.

Through the years, I realized that I have become my own person. As a child, I always wanted to be like my father, a very strong force to contend with. My mother on the other hand is the sensitive soul and that, I can never be a gentle creature like her. Though not a lot like my parents, I carried their values, their strong faith in being a “family” as well as their belief on taking on social responsibility. And for these, I thank them.

Murmurs

I feel a different kind of sadness today. The sort that won’t leave no matter how hard I’ve diverted my thoughts into work. And now I resort to writing about it. Recognition is a sweet surrender to this “thing” as it finally gets thrown into the air and earns an identity somehow for now I am forced to name it.

Triggering pt

It started when I read an e-mail from a dear friend. Many times, our exchanges were limited to family, best practices on motherhood and parenting and our respective work. Our closeness started way back in 1999, we were both involve with agricultural research and development at the prestigious SEARCA.

She sent me a forwarded message about the Philippines, on why it has now became a not-so-hot country. I believe that the not-so-hot list has generated the same breed of feelings from the both of us since we’re used to thinking the same.

We share a similar bond and a passion to build our lives and future around and for this country. We remind ourselves of this, more than a responsibility but a commitment, as my History 1 Professor puts it - we are UP students, a privilege made possible by the Filipino taxpayers. I believed him and so does my friend and we take it seriously that our talents and knowledge would always be utilized properly and appropriately for the country. Of course, I am not talking about world peace and total eradication of poverty but at least something close to it, something to contribute.

“Not-so-hot” list

I’ve read the not-so-hot list and felt a stab of pain. I wanted to agree with some, I also felt strongly against the other points. However I was taken aback by the last point which went like this - the Philippines is a country where everybody wants to get the hell out of it.

Cruel and true

It’s a cruel statement but it‘s partly true. Statistics indicate that we are one of the highest in the world as source of immigrants for popular countries in the OECD*. Personally, I have plenty of friends and relatives who found better jobs and lives in a foreign land. And now this “thing” is disturbing me.

Honestly, I am beginning to entertain the possibility of exploring the horizon on the basis of a desire for a sound environment – social, political and natural- not only for myself but also for my family. I am hesitant with this idea of pursuing long-term security for it makes me feel like I am turning my back on my country. My husband has a different perspective on this; he says that being a Filipino is not confined to the geographical boundaries of the Philippines. More than our birthright, we become Filipinos from our personal and genuine decision to be one.

I may feel like packing my bags too and its tough and its breaking my heart into pieces.

*Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development

Indicators

There’s nothing like the experience of becoming a parent to your child. When I was single, I was totally clueless of the roller-coaster of emotions and challenges involved in parenting even though I heard a lot from DEWKS (dually-employed-with-kids) friends. I now share the old words of my Mom- “You will never understand until you became a parent yourself.”

What is with this life-transforming vocation that can really seep through you in time? I am amazed at how parenthood contributed a lot to my maturity, having newly-found the virtue called patience and the capacity to love and care spontaneously and selflessly. As Mommie to two precocious children aged 3 and 1, I’ve transformed from a “cool Mom wannabe” to someone who sincerely loves the job. The idea of changing my baby’s diaper in a public washroom used to intimidate me as a 1st time Mom, now I can only smile while looking back how far I’ve improved.

Much has been gained from being a parent and I can only say that I took the roller- coaster ride and enjoying it too. As an output of my reflection sessions, I’ve come up with some practical indicators related to parenting that tell if you are really into it:

1. You do crazy stuff just to give your kid an unforgettable experience
Keith is fascinated with toy trains. He loves his Thomas and Friends collection. He knows each and every character by color and body number. He scolds me when I mess up the identities of Gordon and Edward or Emily and Lady Thomas.

Inspired by the idea espouse by Bo Sanchez on nurturing a child’s passion, I’ve decided to take Keith to a train ride from Pedro Gil to Central Station and back via the LRT one busy afternoon. Keith enjoyed the ride and upon descending from the train, requested for another one. Without wasting a minute I bought another token and we took the Pedro Gil to EDSA route and I decided to transfer him to the MRT which is bigger and spacious. Cinders and ashes! (a Thomas expression), I was shocked to find EDSA station choking with passengers at 3 in the afternoon.

In spite of everything, my kid breeze through the throng, he was overwhelmed with the idea that he was actually in the middle a train station’s hustle and bustle. He looked up to me and said, “Mommie, it’s like Thomas’s Train Station!” We got off from the MRT at Shaw Blvd station and he has wearing his happy smile on.

2. You equip yourselves with knowledge to relate with your child

I and my husband always find time to watch our children’s brand of TV shows; I find Mr. Meaty amusing as I shared a good laugh with my kids on Parker and Josh’s outrageous ideas and behavior like the episode wherein they inventively transplanted a hotdog for a nose in a lady’s face. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse requires more interaction from its children viewers with my little Ysa performing the Hotdog Dance. Toy Story 1 & 2, Nemo, Shrek 1 & 2, and Monsters Inc have turned into my kid’s movie staples.

Keith & Ysa Banana's Top Picks

We read and re-read their big and little board books that include Peter Pan, Noah’s Ark, Tigger’s Bouncing Story, Toy Story (again), Baby Einstein books and Lampara bilingual books (English-Filipino). My kids never discriminate as long as stories are told animatedly and creatively; they even patronize the free story books that come with their milk.

Keith & Ysa Banana's Top Picks













Taking the extra mile, I even do internet research to gather relevant snippets on my children’s favorite characters, mall tours/live appearances, shows including lyrics of its TV theme series. Further, arming yourself with loads of information is essential especially when you buy toys for your kids. At least you could assert to Mr. Salesman that Racer X is different from Speed Racer. You could explain to a misinformed salesgirl that Elly in Pocoyo’s show is a girl and not a boy and that you are looking for a pink-colored elephant ballerina and not Lumpy, the violet colored elephant from Pooh’s tv series.


3. You do product testing on yourself as well as food tasting
How can you prove that a particular baby shampoo brand is really tear-free? There is no other way of finding out unless you try it on yourself. This sounds humorous but I really do. I try my kid’s shampoo, lotion, toothpaste and oil before I could actually convince myself of its worth. J&J though traditional is consistently good to my baby’s skin while I find Nivea and Huggies baby products too perfumey.

The same with food, both Keith & Ysa Banana are fond of eating fruit yoghurt. Thanks to my sister-in-law Leah, I got into the habit of giving my kids fruit yoghurt and cheese which not only taste good but are great sources of calcium. Moo and Yamoo are big favorites though I prefer the latter; not too sweet but with a milky flavor.



To be continued...



PS: Image sources will be properly cited.

Isis bella

January 2007 - You arrived in this world in a hurry. Unlike your brother where the waiting seems no end, you came in a dash. For 39 weeks, you were nestled in my womb and only in an hour you were tossed into this world that is all foreign to your senses.

You are beautiful. You have your father’s countenance especially his sovereign nose. The amazing part is that you are mine. And what’s more amazing than that… - I am taking you home!

Keith - child of Gaea

August 2004 - I will never forget the day you came to me, etched in my memory permanently that I can even feel the way you stirred my heart, misted my eyes and almost stopping my breath…you are a perfect gift from heaven.

You were bundled round in blue, your eyes closed in serene slumber… your cheeks soft pink….you are so perfect. From that moment, I understood why life is so good and so beautiful. I am blessed for the Lord has chosen me to be your mother.

Braveheart

“When two people are at one in their inmost hearts,

they shatter even the strength of iron or bronze.”

“Ricky you are the most caring, generous and strongest person I know. I love you for your braveness for you are always prepared to take me on and all that goes with me. I am proud to be your wife. I know that this is just the beginning of a challenging and rewarding life together, and I truly believe that we could make it. I look forward to growing old and spending my whole life with you. I love you very much.”

*portion of wedding speech