Value yourself

COPYRIGHT PURPLE SCRIBBLING

Have you ever felt like floating in space?  I do for almost everyday since July.  No more struggling, its better this way, I just went with the flow of events.  I know myself and I know where I stand.  It's useless putting up a fight for something that is not even worth fighting for.  Choose your battles they say, and so I chose mine.  

Its really odd that hard work this time did not work in my favor. The definition of hard work is relative from one person to another, it may be translated as perfecting a process or a system to build up a spectacular product or service while others only see hard work as equal to profit within an unreasonable time frame. 

We all have our own style in dealing with disappointments and abrupt changes in life.  Change is good for me and I am taking time to further float away and just let be.  I will not settle for less, I know my worth and I value myself. 

Silver and Platinum

DB squinted through the heavily tinted window of the Mercedes which was parked in front of the Shrine, trying hard to get a glimpse of the girl in off-white gown inside. Fed up of the futile exercise, he walks off and looks around for familiar faces. Guests with smiling faces composed of family, relatives and friends were sprinkled here and there around the church. He bumps into their friend Bumblebee and he solicits for a cigarette to overcome the nervousness that was creeping inside as he felt the need to barf.

GM sat motionless rather than poised inside the car. She felt nothing of the knotted stomach, it was empty but she felt no hunger, only a long blank, and no fluttering butterflies inside. She touches her neck and suddenly feels worried; she forgot to wear the necklace her mother had given her as a wedding present.

DB looks at GM intently and takes her hand. He nervously puts the platinum bond on GM’s left ring finger. GM looks at him and recognizes that this person is indeed that one that brings calm to her turbulent nature. She traces his face and feels quite proud and wishes hard that their future children would inherit DB’s sovereign nose. She smiles some more as she sees DB’s hand, he still wore the old silver on his left ring finger, the one they used to sport as a new couple and he never took it off. And so his wedding ring was placed next to it. She then whispers to herself, “This is the best day of my life!”

Happy 7 years Bee! Thank you and I love you!

vivi, ama e ridi,

Long live Pres. Cory!

Source: Definitely Filipino

Thank you Tita Cory

My father bought a copy of this magazine when I was in grade 4 and this is how I got to know more about Mrs. Corazon C. Aquino aside from the media feed at home while witnessing the 1986 EDSA Revolution. I am very sure and a lot of people will agree that “Tita Cory” will always be an icon of democracy not only to Filipinos but the whole world as well. She was our instrument of faith that finally ended the dark days of the Marcos dictatorship. Our bloodless revolution in 1986 has put our country back in the world map of consciousness and has inspired various democratic movements worldwide. Imagine guns vs. flowers… people vs. tanks… deception vs. prayers… and finally an unassuming widow dressed in yellow vs. a strongman from the north, that for me is FAITH.

Image: Time.com

More on Pres. Aquino

The Love Trio of Sir Webber

Love is indeed in the air though there’s a commercial whiff into it. With the amount of branding Valentines have been receiving from the market, it beats every celebration we Filipinos look forward to except Christmas of course.

For my share, I am featuring a powerful trio by Audra Ann McDonald, Marin Mazzie and Judy Kuhn which I luckily found from YouTube posted by Nibelungenstar, a fellow Andrew Lloyd Webber fan. The ladies beautiful rendition of Love Changes Everything, Unexpected Song and I Don’t Know How to Love Him is definitely moving.

Click here: Andrew Lloyd Webber Love Trio

As I have been touched, I will cherish more my old cassette tape of Andrew Lloyd Webber songs from his famous musicals (Cats, Evita, Jesus Christ Superstar and The Phantom of the Opera). Love this performance and hope you’ll fall in love with it too!

Life like a Glass House

This is my birthday entry , I am turning 32 this Sept. I don’t know what to label this post though it sort of resembles an assessment report. Whatever it’s worth…I exercise the liberty of posting it. Cheers!

I am a Freethinker who works in a glass office, in one of the most surprising nook and well kept secrets of Makati. Our building though not a skyscraper, is one with sophistication and artistic innovation that friends and visitors used to comment, “Hey your office looks like an Art Museum”. I don’t mind since I love it the way it is. More than just an office, this edifice quite reminds me a lot about life.

I consider my circumstances growing up in the province, was quite a sheltered existence. Thanks to father’s random lectures, despite my cloister, it has been impressed in my mind that there is a big world outside my home and my school. The realities of life, both beauty and harshness, I further gleaned through the pages of the books and magazines I’ve read.

I have been educated through the public school system from grade school to college, except for a brief stint in Chinese kinder school and a private school in the 4th grade. When I turned 10, I’ve given up the outdoor play since there were only 2 girls in the neighborhood where I grew up; Heart, who is busy with her stamp collection and shitsu puppies, and me, who found seclusion a wonderful place, I did have a stamp collection too though not as extensive as Heart’s.

I breeze through high school while undergoing the perfect summation of identity crisis. Like any other teen, I wanted to fit in. I’ve tried taking school seriously which turned out to my advantage. I got excellent grades and great friends, all went well until I succumbed to a nerve disease that almost claimed my life in the summer before junior year. I became a vegetable at the mercy of my neurologist which gave my parents the ultimate fright of their lives. I called this episode in my life – the falling into the dark pit- until I found brilliance and comfort in W.E. Henley’s ”Invictus.”

The recovery period from such a nearly-fatal blow was an arduous process. Not only did I sought refuge in my seclusion castle, which is like a glass house where the only thing that protects it from intrusion is a deadbolt, I also buried myself into reading until further solace came in the form of writing. Once again I retrieved my pen and restarted a journal. Writing is therapeutic. It paved the way for me to find the missing portion of myself after the ordeal.

Through the years, I realized that I have become my own person. As a child, I always wanted to be like my father, a very strong force to contend with. My mother on the other hand is the sensitive soul and that, I can never be a gentle creature like her. Though not a lot like my parents, I carried their values, their strong faith in being a “family” as well as their belief on taking on social responsibility. And for these, I thank them.

Murmurs

I feel a different kind of sadness today. The sort that won’t leave no matter how hard I’ve diverted my thoughts into work. And now I resort to writing about it. Recognition is a sweet surrender to this “thing” as it finally gets thrown into the air and earns an identity somehow for now I am forced to name it.

Triggering pt

It started when I read an e-mail from a dear friend. Many times, our exchanges were limited to family, best practices on motherhood and parenting and our respective work. Our closeness started way back in 1999, we were both involve with agricultural research and development at the prestigious SEARCA.

She sent me a forwarded message about the Philippines, on why it has now became a not-so-hot country. I believe that the not-so-hot list has generated the same breed of feelings from the both of us since we’re used to thinking the same.

We share a similar bond and a passion to build our lives and future around and for this country. We remind ourselves of this, more than a responsibility but a commitment, as my History 1 Professor puts it - we are UP students, a privilege made possible by the Filipino taxpayers. I believed him and so does my friend and we take it seriously that our talents and knowledge would always be utilized properly and appropriately for the country. Of course, I am not talking about world peace and total eradication of poverty but at least something close to it, something to contribute.

“Not-so-hot” list

I’ve read the not-so-hot list and felt a stab of pain. I wanted to agree with some, I also felt strongly against the other points. However I was taken aback by the last point which went like this - the Philippines is a country where everybody wants to get the hell out of it.

Cruel and true

It’s a cruel statement but it‘s partly true. Statistics indicate that we are one of the highest in the world as source of immigrants for popular countries in the OECD*. Personally, I have plenty of friends and relatives who found better jobs and lives in a foreign land. And now this “thing” is disturbing me.

Honestly, I am beginning to entertain the possibility of exploring the horizon on the basis of a desire for a sound environment – social, political and natural- not only for myself but also for my family. I am hesitant with this idea of pursuing long-term security for it makes me feel like I am turning my back on my country. My husband has a different perspective on this; he says that being a Filipino is not confined to the geographical boundaries of the Philippines. More than our birthright, we become Filipinos from our personal and genuine decision to be one.

I may feel like packing my bags too and its tough and its breaking my heart into pieces.

*Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development