One day I'll fly away...

Sulkily yours

My pretty porch calls

For morning coffee and email scroll

For 5 minutes I sat

Then suddenly

Is that Piolo? Wee!

I did a double take but

T’was my undies wearing neighbor

Bolting from his gate into the street

In awesome glory (he thought)

But I beg to disagree

What?! Why?! Yikes!!!

Turning purple I stopped myself from screaming 

“Please sir take time to cover

Stop wearing your tummy like a 6 pack ab

You’re underpants street party is over!

Put some clothes on

Save your poor neighbors

Spare those squirming in silence.”

Bye my pretty porch!

I raced back to my house into the study

Coffee cold... bitter...email stalled...reloading...

HMP!

Value yourself

COPYRIGHT PURPLE SCRIBBLING

Have you ever felt like floating in space?  I do for almost everyday since July.  No more struggling, its better this way, I just went with the flow of events.  I know myself and I know where I stand.  It's useless putting up a fight for something that is not even worth fighting for.  Choose your battles they say, and so I chose mine.  

Its really odd that hard work this time did not work in my favor. The definition of hard work is relative from one person to another, it may be translated as perfecting a process or a system to build up a spectacular product or service while others only see hard work as equal to profit within an unreasonable time frame. 

We all have our own style in dealing with disappointments and abrupt changes in life.  Change is good for me and I am taking time to further float away and just let be.  I will not settle for less, I know my worth and I value myself. 

Hi!

I am almost home...

Another short note

Whew! I almost lost PS (this blog). I failed accessing it due to faulty memory and procrastination. My fault really, that's the trouble if you have more than 2 e-mails that you use alternately for other accounts. Another thing is I keep on forgetting about taking time to write, not an easy admittance since I've sworn to change this bad habit of mine which is not sticking to my internal schedules and TTDs. This scheduling habit and post-it addiction is not really working as the cruel work requirements and deadlines keep coming and its seems I am just wasting paper and ink listing my priorities but not actually honoring it. Again, I am repeating this to myself ...balance...balance...balance. Another admittance is I procrastinate a lot, I shelve ideas as fast as I conjure them in my mind. I am a nasty, self-editing, hard to please "writer" (i actually use the term OMG). So where do I begin now? Four months have passed without an entry...this is not good, I see reformatting this blog and start anew. Hi reader, if ever you are still there, would you mind sending some recommendations to this entry via the comments section. I really need intervention at this point. Stress has indeed drained whatever creativity or inspiration I had 4 months ago. Why did I ever allow it to happen? So much for sulking in my corner...I need to revive this blog ASAP. I am not giving up yet.

Self -reminders in a jiffy

Dream bigger dreams.

Be true to your core gifts.

Practice again and again and again.

Stay focus.

Listen to yourself.

Compassion.

Zeal.

Healthy amount of self-pride won't hurt.

Donate school supplies to Project Aral 2011

Being a crammer Mom, I dropped by NBS bestsellers (specialty store of National Book Store) at the Podium to finally commence my school supplies-buying duties. I had a long list of supplies, one each for Kit and Princess Peach, which I have forgotten inside my bag for a month. It was impossible for me to complete the 2 long lists in a matter of an hour as I have to go back to my office box. Hence, I prioritized the paper, envelop and art material requirements and still got lost with all types of papers, folders, envelops, and art tools available.

Upon paying my purchase, I was offered by the cashier to donate supplies to the Project Aral of the NBS Foundation. For the price of P 25, you get to buy 2 notebooks, a pencil and eraser; this is the Project Aral kit. You can put your name in the donated by space in the tag sticker. Of course I wrote the names of Kit and Peach on it as a way of sharing their blessings to others. A Project Aral dropbox is located near the store entrance or the main cash counter.

I wish I could provide more information about this project like feature the beneficiaries and how this project came to be for better appreciation but genuine sharing just happens. You just do it. So I invite everybody reading this note to support NBS’s Project Aral. Your donations will go a long way in helping children from less fortunate communities.

A message for Princess Peach

My little sweet daughter, hope you won’t grow so fast though I secretly wish sometimes you were the age when I can …

Bring you to a beauty salon with me where we can both pass time in idle chat while getting our toenails painted in bright purple though I’m quite sure you’ll prefer yours in green. I will always remember when I first brought you to such fancy place for your first haircut, I found you too cute for the haircutting chair. Sitting side by site together, you were too scared to let go of my hand while the hairdresser cut your hair short like mine. I just felt so content holding your hand that I froze that picture in my mind and wish again for you not to grow up fast.

Tag you in the mall and shop till we both drop from exhaustion literally. I admit that shopping for clothes is a waterloo (though I can score at shoe-shopping) and I’d love someone who would give sensible fashion advice. I wish you’d forgive your Mom for lacking these skills as I grew up with brothers in a mostly boys populated neighborhood. I did not get the chance to play dress-up nor had the privilege of a fashion magazine subscription. Just like the boys, I rode and fell from biking races under the 2 o'clock summer sun which makes me wonder why I tend to be upset when I come home from work and see your knee or leg get scraped a bit. I would even reprimand your Yaya for not being able to prevent it and be adamant about you wearing pjs in the afternoon to prevent insect bites and scratches from rough play.

Spend plenty of time with you in one of my favorite places in the country--- where else but Fully Booked -- we could let hours go by while browsing and having a hard time choosing, prioritizing which books to buy, authors to love, like, drop and love again. I hope you’d share my love for Gibran’s prose, Allende’s magic realism and Grisham’s legal thrillers while I look forward to hear about your favorites and choices. And also share my liking for paperproducts, those dainty notebooks and journals and bother to care for things like “Does its pages have the right level of smoothness to give the proper gliding effect when you write?” See your Mom is just as quirky as you are when I observed that you preferred writing using my colored gel pens over you jumbo pencil, no matter if it requires your tiny hand double effort to steady your grip.

Dear baby daughter though I wish for these things, my prayer remains the same that you won't grow too fast. Please let me enjoy it a little bit more.

Photo source: Nitendo

For a change

Okay just because people are running to the gym to re-start their fitness regimen and get back to their ever optimum shape I will have to make a dash as well to the nearest health club armed with the credit card and my acidic zeal, so acidic it could burn and punch a hole in my throat. Anyway I am not that and writing about my current weight and shape is not a favorite past time. I honestly detest it or I’m confused right now, I do not detest it rather I have been avoiding it like the plague for 3 years already and why?

Number 1, I am not a very healthy person. I have a spectacular diet, meaning to say I do not discriminate. What and when and how much I eat, I do not bother to think about. I reach for a dark chocolate bar when I am upset to calm myself. I bolt to the 7-11 store and buy a Gulp of soda when I am confronted with a pile of reading materials. My idea of healthy eating is opting for a grilled Brother’s burger and a tub of yoghurt ice cream with sweet toppings and all the works.

Number 2, I am a sedentary person. My only form of exercise is walking little distances and doing grocery. Though I play with my kids a lot during weekends, I hope laughing and acting childlike also burns calories. Climbing a flight of stairs has been quite a daunting feat, it makes my heart race so hard that I need to stop midway and catch my breath.

Number 3, I am a food addict (period).

I hope to change my unhealthy lifestyle, habit and orientation. They say, if you want something badly, you have to write about it so that the universe will take your words and conspire to help you make it happen. So this is my piece, my hope for a healthier me this 2011. It will not be easy and an overnight deal but I am taking it. I’m tired of carrying all this excess weight and tired of making excuses to friends who dare comment about my weight gain and I would wear my arrogant accent and scowl and say “I just gave birth to my baby girl” while referring to my daughter who is turning 4 years old next week. I’m tired of feeling guilty after enjoying a more than hearty meal with my family. I just want to free myself from this addiction and take control of it. My BMI is something that I wouldn’t dare put into print here. It scares me sometimes. I want to live until the time I get my chance to spoil my own grandchildren the way my kids are spoiled by my in-laws and parents. Please, I just want to be kinder to myself some more…

Okay then with all that has been said, any recommendations for some nice-looking but durable running shoes in the market? I intend to drop by the sports plaza later this afternoon. Well I hope this is not just to justify another shoe buying session… I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

Silver and Platinum

DB squinted through the heavily tinted window of the Mercedes which was parked in front of the Shrine, trying hard to get a glimpse of the girl in off-white gown inside. Fed up of the futile exercise, he walks off and looks around for familiar faces. Guests with smiling faces composed of family, relatives and friends were sprinkled here and there around the church. He bumps into their friend Bumblebee and he solicits for a cigarette to overcome the nervousness that was creeping inside as he felt the need to barf.

GM sat motionless rather than poised inside the car. She felt nothing of the knotted stomach, it was empty but she felt no hunger, only a long blank, and no fluttering butterflies inside. She touches her neck and suddenly feels worried; she forgot to wear the necklace her mother had given her as a wedding present.

DB looks at GM intently and takes her hand. He nervously puts the platinum bond on GM’s left ring finger. GM looks at him and recognizes that this person is indeed that one that brings calm to her turbulent nature. She traces his face and feels quite proud and wishes hard that their future children would inherit DB’s sovereign nose. She smiles some more as she sees DB’s hand, he still wore the old silver on his left ring finger, the one they used to sport as a new couple and he never took it off. And so his wedding ring was placed next to it. She then whispers to herself, “This is the best day of my life!”

Happy 7 years Bee! Thank you and I love you!

vivi, ama e ridi,

Whispered prayer

I choose to believe that I am going to hurdle whatever life throws at me. I know it’s going to be hard and sometimes painful but I choose to grit my teeth and go on. I believe that I am in the middle of a birthing process, tiring, arduous and excruciating, but there is something good coming out of it. I believe that this too shall pass.

I pray for more courage.

I pray for humility.

I pray for clarity of the mind.

I pray for other people’s kindness.

Most of all, I pray for the Lord’s healing hands.

Notes from G.M.

I only realized last Sunday that my son has indeed grown-up. No matter if I have to shop for a new set of pajamas twice in a matter of 6 months as he was getting taller everyday, I just did not notice it. Even when he picked up Grisham’s A Time to Kill and reads the cover and copyright page with the proper pronunciation and crisp tone, I still did not notice. I was taken aback with pride of course, I thought “Wow! He reads perfectly." Still, I did not acknowledge it to the fact that he has grown up, after all he just turned 6 last August. When you’re a Mom or a Dad, I guess you are in complete denial that your once tiny baby is growing up before your eyes and you just can't process it as fast as it happens. Well that was not until Sunday…

While waiting for Dada in the parking lobby, Sharkboy (SB)and Baby Diva (BD) asked for their new books. A little girl with an angel’s face about my sons’ age suddenly approached our bench and sat beside them. It’s really cool to be a kid, you make and become friends in a heartbeat, and she was getting along well with SB and BD browsing through SB’s dinosaur book. After 10 minutes or so, Angelface gets bored, gets up and walks away, my SB takes notice and gets up from his seat as well and exclaims, “Hey! Do you want me to read to you the names of the dinosaurs?” I could not keep myself from chuckling. SB got a pick-up line and what can I say? T'was good and somewhat geeky but still it was good. He has indeed grown up. Did he get Angelface to go back? That’s another story.

vivi, ama e ridi,

Note from P.Ink

P.Ink is in hibernation. She is buried under a lot of concerns and pressures. She hopes to get out of it as soon as possible. It looks like she's taking her adult role too seriously but she hopes to get back in shape and be P.Ink again (who does more than ponder but also resolves to make time for herself.)

What you don't know about me...

I am anti-social. I cringe at the thought that I would stand in the middle of a big party, sipping wine or fruit cocktail, making small talk, its just not my kind of thing. I rather spend my time in a bookstore browsing or in a corner café reading my favorite book and even my not so favorite book than attend some bash where I am compelled to brush elbows with strangers whom I pretend to remember their first names, though I’m quite sure I’m not alone with this predicament. I would also want to make myself clear that I do not have something against this type of large-scale socialization, my skin is just not made for it. I observed that every time there is a chance for me to hobnob, I experience a skin breakout and no amount of erythromycin could ease it. I realize I’m better stuck with Umberto Eco trying hard to digest his books than be left helpless in the middle of partying people. 

I am a stickler for discipline. I am the one who takes the long route to get to the pedestrian lane where I could safely cross the street (at least that is what I believe.) I can endure long lines in the grocery store and turn into Mrs. Hyde when a loser forces entry in the neatly lined maze of people. Deadlines for me are sacred, I adhere to it and ensure that everybody complies with it. However there is an exception, I bend the rules when it comes to my children to the point of spoiling them. This is surprising as I am inclined to give in easily to their wishes no matter how trivial and yes, sometimes unreasonable. Good thing, my husband who appears sweet and all, turned out to be the disciplinarian.  

I am sort of a “closet-queen” shoe-lover. I may appear like I don’t care about fashion nor don’t have anything to do with it as I can put on anything that comes out of my closet in a morning rush but I cannot do without shoes. I love shoes particularly flat shoes, ankle boots, wedge sandals and kitten heel pumps. I wear one pair then stuff another pair in my bag and keep another pair in my office drawer so I could easily change shoes when my mood changes as well. I wear flats when I am relaxed; heels or boots when I am up for a challenge; and sandals when I feel lazy to dress-up. Honestly, a new pair of shoes can only quell a hard day’s work and brooding frustrations for me. 

 

I love gardening. My father, the original green thumb, might laugh at this one but its true I discovered that I love planting vegetables in the backyard. The weekend we moved in to the Tango House, I planted some vegetables in a patch of soil and found it a stress reliever. This discovery has ignited my interest to pursue a grander planting program that would provide vegetable supply and fruits in the long-term.

I stopped drinking Coke for 3 months already. This is hard for me, I was a caffeine and sugar junkie since aged 7. If some people smoke or drink liquor to pass time, well my only vice is Coke. Then why did I stop? I did it for my health and peace of mind after I realized that I could not write without Coke’s sugar-induced energy boost. Writing is important to me and to associate it with my only vice is not good - it is terrible. As the good old saying goes, when you write make sure it comes from the heart (cheesy but true).

The Chalkboard

Some things scare me…or to put it more accurately…certain things trigger the recall of a scary moment in my life. Just moments ago, I realized that something like a whiteboard could bring out a scary memory I have abandoned deeply in the hidden corners of my mind.

A big flip-type whiteboard was delivered to our office. The deliveryman left in a jiffy leaving it behind without any assembly manual or instruction. To break the icy atmosphere as our office has transformed into Siberian tundra via air-conditioning, I joined some of my officemates assembling it.

For others the whiteboard is nothing but a white board, for me it is analogous to a chalkboard, which resembles the giant cruel chalkboard of my childhood. It happened when I was 4 or 5 years old. Though I grew up in my Grandmother’s house, I also spent some time tottering to my mother’s workplace. It was a usual practice that my mother would bring me to her office but there was one single moment that I will never forget.

I met a little girl, we were of the same age, she was also a kid of one the employees. We decided to play “teacher-teacher” when we took fancy of the big and solid chalkboard in front of the building while our mothers were working inside. First scene, she took the role of the teacher and I took my position sitting in the front stairs as the pupil. Second scene, a strong gust of wind came and all of a sudden the chalkboard toppled over onto the little girl, pinning her down helplessly. Third scene, a large commotion followed, I saw a lot of people coming out of their rooms, they seem to run towards me and I felt I was blamed for getting the girl into that situation, though in reality they were running towards her, to rescue her. I could not remember what happened next though I can still remember that scary feeling, a mixed emotion of anxiety, confusion and pain. I stood there in the middle of ogling and nosy people, overwhelming me with a lot of questions I could not bring myself to answer.

I never saw the little girl again. I could not even remember her name or her face as if she completely disappeared from my sight when the chalkboard fell down on her with my very eyes. Last I heard which was ages ago from my mother, the little girl paid for that incident dearly, she suffered a bone fracture that resulted to a permanent damage. That day though, not only one little girl got herself crushed, there was also the other one, the one who stood in perfect horror.

Silence

Silence...I just love it but it’s not right when you occupy a space in the blogosphere and suddenly you become inconspicuously quiet. December for me was the busiest month both for the work and home department. I am very guilty of becoming an organized pack rat to the point of drying up my creativity well. Maybe unconsciously, this was an expression of my craving for order in our disgruntled and chaotic environment. I have been too preoccupied with listing, packing, filing, buying, wrapping, segregating, discarding, etc. I even forgot to put down my thoughts into this blog.

I spent the entire month of December packing and unpacking – Christmas decors, luggage for 2 adults and 2 children with special requirements (e.g. baby formula, anti-allergy meds, favourite toys, nebulizer, stroller, etc.) that got me carried away when I struggled between taking or not taking our reliable electric sterilizer as well; listing and delisting (stocks?! how I wish) my TTDs (things to do) and TTBs (things to bring/buy) including a wardrobe schedule per family member to reduce the number of clothes packed as well as number of travel bags; wrapping and unwrapping presents to & from family, friends and foe (not literally though); performing 5S in my office area and in the house; and last but not the least, enjoying my OC streak as if it was the finest idea and noblest thing to do on earth during those moment of fervent possession.

Through it all, I would like to thank my family and friends who stood by me and even tolerated my version of leisure. And what’s more to love with December were the gift-hunting, food trips, vacations and travels that strengthen the bonds of family and friendship.

To Hubby’s family and mine, thank you very much for the wonderful vacations in HK and Isabela. Christmas and New Year celebrations were made meaningful because we were all completely together. We made it with young children in tow, heavy luggage, jam-packed subways, biting cold, overheating Charlie Brown (family van) and all.

To my friends for sharing a new-found addiction such as new book page-sniffing; my fellow pen-eraser-notebook collectors intending to apply as transient residents of Fully Booked in G5, thanks for the amazing company, heart-warming exchanges on parenthood and family life and encouraging words. Year 2009 was indeed a rollercoaster ride for us but we’re still here. Isn’t it that life becomes sweeter when Fully Booked is just around the corner?

And now, after having the best vacation in years, I welcome 2010 with a strong heart. There is no space for mediocrity.

Condemn Maguindanao Massacre

Sadly, I live in this country...

…. where women, human rights lawyers and journalists are killed like criminals - (this is an understatement)

…. where women, accompanied by lawyers and journalists, on their way to Shariff Aguak to file the certificate of candidacy of Buluan Vice Mayor Esmael Mangudadatu for governor of Maguindanao, were slaughtered like animals by cold-blooded killers in broad daylight.

Like most of you out there, I am terribly shaken to the core. These women, lawyers and journalists were all there as believers of our democratic process and why such high price to pay for doing so?! I pray for the victims and their families. I pray for this country. I pray for justice to be served.

“We seek justice for the victims, we seek justice for our rights to freedom.”

Belisa learns...

You can never tell who will be there for you, in times of need or during occasional lows in your life. The friends you expect to be there for some reason may also be as lost as you are while someone you thought indifferent, unexpectedly appears with a ready hand and a listening ear. When the people you used to have a good time with either at work and after work are all gone, you just have to make some difficult decisions and live by it. You either continue working or continue being sour, hence, it is a matter of choice. Most importantly, you can only rely on yourself and your ability to look at the picture differently from the way bitten people have marred it.

And so I say, gone is Belisa the hermit, she needs to reconnect with other humans, she can’t live in a cave. Like all of them, she needs to move on too, afterall, it was she who was given the most daunting role, to stay and survive a bleak situation or was it really even bleak?
When written in Chinese, the word "crisis" is composed of two characters. One represents danger and the other represents opportunity. - John F. Kennedy

Photo: www.dreamtime.com

Things I learned from Ondoy

1. Complacency is bane during moments of disaster

It came as a surprise, one minute my family was sitting around the dining table having pleasant lunch, the next minute I was moving around like Dash rummaging on whatever I could get my hands on like the bottle box and milk can of my children, canned goods, medicines etc. My husband hurriedly carried my kids to the 2nd floor as they began shouting, “Mommy, look the water is getting inside the house!” Luckily I have a quick helper who snatched all the other valuable items away from the brown water gushing inside our house and positioned our things on top of every elevated structure available (dining table, countertop, etc.) We never anticipated the flood to reach our house since it is elevated 4 feet from the ground/garage. Our area never got flooded even when most of Metro Manila is flooded during incidents of heavy typhoons. Our neighbors thought the same since most of them overslept on a Saturday morning, unmindful of the continuous downpour that started on Friday evening, we were all confident that we were safe from the flood. Next thing we knew, our cars were submerged in deep brownish water. Too late, the water may have gone through the circuits as one car started off its alarm when the flood rose rapidly seeping in each and every crevice, the sounding off was like a call for help while we all watch helpless as the brown water monster swallowed them all.

2. Our government could not afford rubber boats but could afford fine-dining at luxurious restaurants abroad

All of us have been witness to the amount of help the Ondoy victims got from the private sector. Once again, our government showed its helplessness amidst major calamities such as this one and on how it cannot be dependent upon by its needy citizens. There were not enough rubber boats to rescue those who were trapped on their rooftops particularly residents of Provident Village in Marikina, subdivisions along Imelda Avenue in Cainta and other areas in Pasig. I get a headache every time I recall that Pres. Arroyo and her cohorts dined at Le Cirque in NY for $20,000 and at Van’s Steakhouse in Washington for $15,000, wow that’s a whopping $35,000, if you take out your calculator and convert $35,000 to P46/$1, you get P 1.6 million (P1,610,000). That for me is big money to buy 35 to 50 additional rubber boats that cost around P32,000 to P45,000 per unit. To top it all, the government announced that their contingency fund is running low, the reason again is, it has been authorized for used in the previous foreign travels of Pres. Arroyo.

3. Material things are well just material

We have a friend who lives in Vista Verde, one of the badly flooded subdivisions in Cainta, realizing that the flood was rising fast, she and her family left their house and drove their new SUV to a neighboring elevated village. She and her husband thought that they could do nothing more to rescue the contents of their house since they live in a bungalow. They had their essentials with them, she reasoned, they have their kids strapped at the back-seat and they drove as fast as the rising waters would permit them during the height of typhoon Ondoy.

4. Bayanihan is well and alive

If there is one great thing brought about by this massive flooding, I need not say more, the amount of support from every Filipino inside and outside of the country is overwhelming. The donations and the volunteers are outpouring like Ondoy’s outpouring rain, our efforts to ease the pain and suffering of our countrymen is ever present and alive. We all should learn from rival networks like ABS-CBN and GMA 7 whose race to become the best network in the land in terms of raising funds/donations through Sagip Kapamilya and Kapuso Foundation is working well towards benefitting thousands of lives. We are also grateful to the aid extended to us by foreign governments and international organizations. Much of this assistance has gone a long way to help those who have lost their homes and lives and basic right to live a normal life especially the children. I hope and pray that long-term solutions for those displaced from their homes be made possible. Maybe a village donation would be a good start for the communities tossed in evacuations centers, a village with reasonable location wherein displaced families could still have access to their source of income. Another concern would be to beef up funds and info-campaign, re-organized and strengthen the disaster management system and program of the government including the private sector. It is time that we all take disaster preparedness and management seriously, ours is a disaster-prone country, aside from lying in the circum-Pacific seismic belt, we received about an average of 19 cyclones per year.

5. Be prepared like a boy scout and a girl scout

Ondoy the big floodmaker shook the core in each of us. I chat with my friends and officemates about it and evidently most of us have taken the issue of disaster preparedness more seriously than before. Someone even mentioned that he’s going to purchase a rubber boat, lifesavers and lifejackets for the family and renovate the 2nd floor of the house for an emergency exit door and evacuation area in case of another massive flooding. I on the other hand became more conscious on the contents of my kitchen cupboard. I make sure that we have adequate stock of canned goods and first aid medicines. The picture of harried masses lining up in the grocery on a Sunday after the big flood receded in our place stuck with me. For the first time I did my grocery at Puregold Shaw, I found its shelves almost empty of sardines, corn beef, canned tuna and meatloaf. People around me, like me, were all pouring canned foods into our carts our hands and arms could amass.

6. What is Climate Change?

One needs not be an environmentalist to understand the global impact of Climate Change. Environment experts warned that cyclone Ketsana (Ondoy) is just a taste of what it is to come in the future. According to the 4th Assessment Report of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPPC), human activities have contributed to climate change; activities that led to the increase of the 4 principal greenhouse gases like as carbon dioxide, methane, nitrous oxide and halocarbons. The release of carbon dioxide emissions have greatly contributed to global warming which is a significant factor in the increase in intensity as well as frequency of typhoons. For a friendly detailed discussion on Climate Change and Global Warming, you may visit IPPC and Noble Peace Price environment activist Al Gore.

Photos: Globalnational.com, Travelpod.com

Impt!

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My source: Ondoy Tumblr